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A quiet rebuke


I was home helplessly watching my child’s health decline. Surely this could not be happening. She had just recovered from surgery to alleviate the chronic aspiration that had nearly claimed her life and landed her in the ICU 5 times in the previous 9 months. I was heartbroken and my spirit was heavy. I asked God “ Will you please just have mercy on us????!!”  I was wallowing in self-pity. I was angry that my child continued to suffer. I felt I could no longer bear up under this burden. And then The Lord spoke into my spirit this quiet rebuke… “You know nothing of My mercy.”

I suddenly found my mind flashing images of the immense suffering around the world. Children abandoned, starving, prostituted and killed. Christians worshipping in secret, fearing for their lives and being murdered for refusing to renounce their faith. Ravaging disease, homelessness, acts of terror. The list goes on and on….

And then came the words from others who had been encouraged in their faith. Countless people who spoke of the comfort and joy they found in hearing of the many times my Lily had been rescued from the brink of death by a good and loving God. Countless people who had found courage and peace from our testimony…….

And finally the truth that I know deep in my heart came rushing to the surface. The truth is my greatest moments in this life have been lived at the feet of Jesus, desperate for Him. The moments where I have reached the end of myself and could simply rest in the hands of my ever capable Father. The truth is my child is more than a conqueror. She has done more for the kingdom of God in her young life than I could ever hope to do in ten life times. Her testimony has reached thousands of people. Her testimony has helped to save babies from abortion. Her testimony moves people, Christian and non-Christian alike. The truth is in my flesh I know nothing of His tender mercies but in my heart of hearts I know them to be good and true. The truth is if my child must leave this place and move on to glory she will have received the greatest mercy of all. The truth is if I allow God’s will to reign in my life I will be reunited with her, perfected in glory, for all eternity. Oh what a merciful God He is!!!!

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1 thought on “A quiet rebuke”

  1. Nancy this is so beautiful. In the short time I have known you and your family I have begone to realize how strong your faith is and how strong you all are as a mother and how strong and courageous lily is. I continue to pray for all of you. God bless and thank you for sharing

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