Oh mommas. It has been one of those weeks. –Lord have mercy!– Anxiety, stress, worry, exhaustion… The whole bit.
My girl got very sick and though she is now out of the hospital, the road to recovery remains long. Now all my littles are sick sick sick. It has been 4 days of poop explosions, barf everywhere (usually on me or my bed), crying (mostly by them, a little by me), humidifiers, laundry (so much laundry), lots of bleach and scrubbing and 50 showers a day. I haven’t slept in over a week. Sleeping, and I use that term lightly, in a hospital is near impossible. When you’re not spending all your energy combatting worry and fear and tending to your love’s every need, there are beeps, bells, and nurses coming in every 2 minutes. Not to mention you essentially get a tiny slab of concrete with thin plastic over it to “sleep” on. And if you’re a hands on parent the night nurses feel totally fine waking you up, even if you’ve been asleep for just 5 minutes, to do feedings and diaper changes. “For the love of God I would drop kick you if I weren’t so tired.” Then we get home and its been checking in on my girl throughout the night and now taking care of all my little sicklies. Yeah. one of those weeks.
Do I have something profoundly uplifting to say about these times? No. Not really. What I do have to say is that you are not alone. When poop is literally hitting the fan, remember I get it. When you want to put in your two weeks notice but no one takes you seriously, know that I’ve been there. When every towel and blanket in your home is being laundered, when every pair of your stretchy pants has bodily fluids on them, when your hair is looking like Albert Einsteins, when you look like you stepped in a boxing ring because your dark circles are so intense, when no amount of bleach and heavy duty paper towels can possibly help you, remember I feel you. I feel you so hard!
When anxiety, stress, worry and exhaustion are trying to get the better of you, remember that you are never alone in your struggle. Every mother has been where you are. Every mother has felt how you feel. And most importantly remember God’s grace is more than enough for you. Just like its enough for me. Even when I feel like a terrible mother and an ineffectual weakling, God’s grace is abundant. His mercy is never ending. His strength carries me through. I love you momma.
All my love,